Every Sunday, I deliberately take a subject matter and think long and hard about it, then I try to put them up as a post in the hope that I might benefit someone here.
In this season of children’s day, I’m thinking parenting!
No doubt most of us have met a child or another that has probably fallen below our expectation in character. Many times, we blame it to parenting and most hypothetically, have solutions to how such child(ren) should have been raised.
I am a father of two, the younger being 7 years old and I can categorically say that I am always concerned about my methods. I am 100% sure of my intentions about their growth and development, but what I’m not sure of is if I’m executing my thoughts correctly.
See, the easiest time to be an expert is when you’re not in the situation. You literally know all the answers till the day you start having children.
One of the reasons I refrain from “disciplining” other people’s children is that I’ve not even finished doing mine and I’m not even sure I’m doing it right. I’ve not seen the result of my work yet, I can’t claim to be an expert yet.
Some people say, “don’t beat”, some say, “don’t yell”, while others insist on flogging with koboko as well as other “experiments” being touted as principles. Most of us have not even seen the result of our ideas yet. The experts’ children being used to test the ideas, are still in Basic school but they’ve already put put the method as the preferred method. Hmm…
What am I advocating sef?
Nothing, really. I just want to prick your conscience, in case you ever thought you were an expert parent. I doubt if our parents can even claim to be expert parents. What we’re all doing is an attempt to improve beyond the previous generation, and I dare say that we’re making new mistakes in the process.
Every child is different and there’s no book you’ll ever read that will prepare you 
% for the child you will birth.
And raising children is not an experiment. We’re talking about destinies here!
You can’t, for example, read a Facebook post and implement on your child, without understanding the child in question.
Look, can you even predict what your methods will birth?
So what should guide us in our imperfect attempt to raise great children?
1. CULTURE
One thing I believe we will all agree is that, good parents try to raise their children to become successful in life. We try to imbibe in them, values and exposure that will help them stand on their own and succeed. What many people do not realise is that although you’re raising them in your home, you will eventually release them to the community and the whole world, at large.
With this in mind, I think culture should play a great role in the curriculum.
Culture is the (protracted) way of life of a people. I added “protracted” to emphasize that most cultures are age-long and that has conditioned how people relate with one another. We parents want our child(ren) to succeed, I put it to you that that depends a lot on their interactions with fellow humans of generations before and after theirs as well as theirs.
For example, I am not aware of any culture that inherently promotes disrespect. However, how respect is expressed may differ from community to community.
I strongly believe that “the what” of behaviour is as important as “the how” in any community you want to raise children, if you’re truly interested in their success.
Many people can tell you how respecting people in the way they want, has helped open doors that even their certificates can’t.
2. The Word of God has proven to be true over many generations and can be relied upon in many circumstances to help. One potent way to utilize the Bible is to take lessons from people’s experiences with God. One of the things I love about the Bible is that it was documented in such a way that people’s results was correlated with their behaviour patterns.
So with reliable historical evidence, you can make decisions about your present to predict your future.
Let the principles promoted by the Bible help you. Your implementation might be different or even adapted to your contemporary situation but the principles will guarantee safety.
In all, I don’t believe there’s any expert, no matter how authoritative they sound in their books, posts or videos. We’re all students trying out our hypothesis. Some have not even started the journey yet and they’re your counselors on how to train your own children? Be careful o!
Finally, whatever you wish your child to become, I suggest that you model by being and more. In my experience, children learn more from observation than by any other means.
May we get it right.
FOCUS!
Recent Comments